Holy Fucking Followers

And a recipe, too!

Hey, y’all!

It appears that the gods of substack virality have smiled upon me yet again, and I have a few hundred new susbcribers to say hello to. So, hello!

First of all, my supreme gratitude to all who have interacted with the posts, left comments, shared and laughed. That’s why I started this substack, and I love how many of you have told me that you stopped yourself from buying something you didn’t need because I yelled at you about it on this platform. That is a joy.

For those of you new here, I am a chef based in Phoenix, Arizona and I work with pro athletes and dietitians to make food for clients that heals their bodies. I recently started my own wellness retreat business with my incredible business partner and friend, April, and you can read about that here. I am receiving so many messages, questions and notes that I am realizing SS is not the easiest way to answer them all. If you don’t mind photos of dogs, and you want to connect a bit more directly, feel free to message me via instagram. Anyway, back to food and eating.

I was away cooking for a wellness retreat all week, and I found myself once again affirmed in the importance of this deinfluencing as some beautiful, intelligent, and very well read women continued to fall victim to purchasing things because the labels said they contained adaptogens…or whatever. As is usually true, my guests expressed shock and awe at how 100% whole foods made their bodies feel, how hunger was a distant memory, energy was sustained and even the damn desserts were good. This retreat was a particular challenge as three severe allergies needed accommodating - dairy, gluten, and coconut. If you’ve ever shopped fo gf + df substitutes, you’ve probably noticed that coconut plays a huge role, from its emulsification abilities to its divinely textured sugars and flours. Coconut is pretty much omnipresent in “alternative” ingredients, including chocolate chips, so I had to find a way to make it all work.

In comes this vegan, coconut free, gluten free flavor bomb of a blueberry pot de creme - kind of - and I’m sharing the recipe with you, because I love you. Here we go.

For 4 servings, you need:

12oz silken tofu

2 cups very dark chocolate baking pieces (I like the 365 brand dark chocolate chunks)

1tbsp tahini

2 tsp ceylon cinnamon (if you don’t have good cinnamon, don’t bother)

1tbsp honey

1tsp vanilla paste

1pt blueberries

1 lemon

1 sprig thyme

Good olive oil

Flakey sea salt

1. Into a small sauce pot, add your blueberries and juice your lemon. On low heat, let this cook down for an hour or so until blueberries release juices and start to macerate in their own sugars.

2. Into a vitamix or other blender, add your tofu, tahini, honey, vanilla, and 1/2 cup blueberry mixture, and blitz until full incorporated.

3. Melt your 2 cups of chocolate chips in the microwave (or a double boiler if you love to overcomplicate your life), then add, still hot, to the blender, making sure to scrape down the sides.

4. Pour into 4 rammekins, bowls, little mason jars, whatever, and set into the refrigerator to cool for at least two hours.

5. To serve, add a tablespoon or two of your blueberry mixture (I like to warm it back up) slightly offset on the chocolate, drizzle chocolate with olive oil and sea salt, and garnish with thyme leaves.

Is this a guilt-free dessert? That depends on your relationship with shame, as well as soy. But it definitely fits the bill, tastes fantastic, and has a texture that makes you feel like you’re eating the real thing.

Look out for some new rants as I decompress for a week of remote work and gear up for another, and as always, remember that the earth provides. Love you!

xoxo

A